Mercury has already gone direct, but I’m still feeling the effects and growth of the retrograde period. It was a Mercury retrograde unlike others for me: intense and rich. The theme for me had to do control: what is in my control and what is not in my control. I kept experiencing clear moments where I had the awareness that I could choose not to keep sending my energy toward something that was out of my control. I had a major growth moment on an early walk with Lilly one morning. I felt like all my energy was streaming away from me in all directions in tiny little ribbons toward all the many unknowns, and then suddenly there was a shield, a bubble, around me. All that energy that had been streaming away from me toward all the things out of my control bounced off the shield and right back into my center. All my energy I had been wasting on stuff I couldn’t control was suddenly redirected back into/on me. I have since used this experience to redirect my energy when I can feel that I’m losing energy on stuff which is out of my control. Bonuses I’ve already experienced: I have more energy (imagine that); I am more relaxed; the more I do this, the easier (still not easy peasy) it is.
When I think of what’s in my control and what’s not in my control, I easily get overwhelmed because it always feels like there’s so much more out of my control than in my control. (Clearly, this is a piece of my anxiety picture.) With the coronavirus a pandemic now, it feels like the not in my control aspects of life are looming over me. But, using this experience, I now have a new tool to help me bring all my energy back to what is in my control: ME. So along with my daily walking and gratitude practices, and breathing exercises, and a plethora of other tools that I don’t necessarily need on a daily basis, I’ve been focusing on this redirection of my energy, and I’m not only finding glimmers of hope, I’m better able to navigate life.
~Namaste