It’s been an interesting roll from May into June. In mid May intense despair moved in, but even while experiencing it, I was aware of how different it was. I was depressed for a number of years and my experience of depression was being dragged into an abyss of despair and being stuck there. This recent despair was a presence in my energy body. I felt constricted with a sense of pressure from all directions, and I struggled to be me in every moment. I used all my skills working with this despair and it was just lodged there; there was no moving anything. And then after almost two weeks of this, I could suddenly feel it moving. It dissipated and flowed out of me over a 24 hour period. And that was when I realized just how much of my space it had been taking up. I was expanded into my whole self again. I could actually feel flashes of hope again.
I’m now in the midst of deep transformation with insights popping up right and left and all sorts of shedding going on. That despair was definitely a part of this transformation: setting me up for the different, the new, and reminding me of how much space I have that is mine to fill. This transformation feels specifically related to old, unhealthy patterns of perception of self, being human, love, and relating to other humans. Piece of cake, right?!
Today is a new moon and we’re only weeks away from the summer solstice. The days are stretching so long. There is so much light we can easily access. What seeds are you planting? What old blossoms are you releasing to the winds?
Here are two takes on the current energies that resonate with me.
May you know you are whole.
May you know you are part of the whole.
May you know you are light.